hexacoollike  of bridges and scarves
by peachieO
Summary: Hexacoollike Hexachordal  Tom Milsom /Charlieissocoollike  Charlie McDonnell   Sad. very sad


Sad. Heart Break, suicide.

Review PLEASE!

You press yourself against the railing. The air is oddly still, like time is moving too slow, and even the traffic behind you seems slower than usual. The only thing that seems right is the Thames rushing, and pounding, and swirling below your feet.

You tear off your scarf and hold the knitted cerulean to your face. You bury your nose in the soft wool and inhale, allowing yourself to remember.

* * *

><p><em>Boxing day found you awake early, eager to try out your new waffle maker. A knock on your door brought you running. You weren't expecting anyone over so you were curious. You opened the door to see Tom waiting on the front step. His nose and cheeks were flushed from the cold, and his shock of blue hair only made him look paler. You felt yourself blush as he smiled, and flipped his hair out of his face. You looked down at your feet worried he'd somehow heard your pulse speed up. You chided yourself for being so worried, but you couldn't help your heart leaping into your throat as he grabbed your hand and placed a package in it. You stepped inside, allowing him in, and quietly closed the door. <em>

_"Merry Christmas, Charlie"._

_You regarded the present in your hands. It wasn't too much bigger than a loaf of bread, and squished in your hands. It was wrapped in newspaper and topped with a green bow. '_How very Tom'. _You quickly ripped the paper off, and left in your hands was a long scarf, the colour of Tom's hair_

* * *

><p>You pull the material from your face, and let it slip through your fingers, falling to a huge heap around your feet. The January air on your now bare neck is freedom, and you tug down the zipper on your jacket to expose more.<p>

You lean against the railing again, contemplating the depths.

"Charlie!". Your head jerks involuntarily towards the voice, but you already know who it is. You'd know that voice anywhere, and it brings out the longing, and loss, and the feeling of completion all the while ripping apart your chest.

* * *

><p><em>It was barely a week into the new year, and Alex had finally coerced you into going out. You really didn't want to, but Alex had used a deadly combo of bribery, logic, and guilt. Reluctantly you followed him out the door, the night blurred as you imagined the things you'd rather have been doing. '<em>I could be filming, or editing, or watching TV, or trying to learn to cook real food, or-'_ Alex cut through your train of thought._

_"You're never gonna have a good time with that attitude. Please just try to have fun" He flashed a winning smile, and you felt yourself nodding. _

_As soon as you got inside Alex got you a drink. Normally you'd've turned him down, you never had a taste for the stuff, but you figured if you were already out it couldn't really hurt. _

_Most of the night blurred by, aided by the alcohol._

_Then you were in Tom's flat, and he was far more drunk than you'd seen him before. Not long later you were in his bedroom, and he murmured "I love you" into your skin. And you were flying, the best feeling of your life all it was three words. Three words whispered into a kiss by the man you had fallen so in love with._

* * *

><p>"Hi, Tom" your voice surprises you. It's eerily calm and composed, and you can't help but laugh at the contrast between it and your heart.<p>

"Charlie, are you okay?" he sounds tentative, and scared, and he isn't closing the rather large gap between you. You turn to face him, but you don't bother trying to smile.

* * *

><p><em>You woke up alone and naked. You felt the embarrassment hot upon your cheeks as you pulled on your clothes. Your embarrassment quickly turned to shame and outrage as you quickly realized the flat was empty. You waited for an hour, hoping you were wrong, hoping he would show up and prove he meant his sweet words, hoping it wasn't just meaningless sex. But finally you stumbled home, broken and defeated. You spent the next day crying on the floor next to your bed. You couldn't quite bring yourself to get <em>in_ bed, not after what happened. you felt robbed of your safety_

* * *

><p>"No. In fact I think I'm the very definition of 'Not Okay'" you admit. Tom takes a half step towards you, but pauses. You wonder if he knows what he did.<p>

* * *

><p><em>Four days later Alex literally dragged you out of your room, and despite your advantage in both height and weight, dropped you in front of your shower. You showered, and tugged on some clean clothes. You finally trudged into the kitchen, and took the cup of tea waiting on the counter. You settled into the couch, and Alex said<em>

_"We're going to see Tom today"_

* * *

><p>"Charlie..I...". You shake your head to say that the time for words had passed. You shake your head to say he had said too many false words to trust them now. You shake your head to say it was too late.<p>

You shake your head to say good bye.

And then you turn back to looking over the railing.

And then you push hard, lifting your legs over the side. You barely sit for a second before sliding forward. The air rushes around you, cold piercing your body until you hit the water.

* * *

><p><em>When you arrived at Tom's flat he wasn't alone. No, he had his <em>Girlfriend_ over. You never caught her name, but he couldn't keep his hands off her. She had to leave early, but not without a goodbye kiss. Tom watched her leave before turning his attention back to you and Alex_

_"I think I'm really in love with her"_

* * *

><p>The water than once looked to blue is now black as the temperature renders you immobile. Instinctively, you gasp, and choke as the icy water starts a fire in your lungs. Then quickly as it started the pain dulls out, and you let go.<p>

* * *

><p><em>You ran.<em>

_You ran faster and harder than ever before. You ran to the bridge, but you couldn't outrun a broken heart._

* * *

><p>The only change I made was sectioning off the flashbacks<p> 


End file.
